So much for this journal being called a DAY in my life, I maybe seem to log on only once per month!!!

Oh well.... My laptop is all linked up to the broadband again so I should be getting better at that now...

I am finding a need to blog at the moment.. life isn't going how I want it to and blogging gives me a little time to think it all through. I am frustrated at myself as I know I only have one person to blame for not being how I want to be.

As this morning I want to get back into the gym I feel that I need to fous my attention there this morning. I have just weighed in at 162.2lbs & 31.2% Body fat, somehow since I hit 162 my weight never goes any further even though I am sure I am eating more calories than I should!! I guess that's something to be thankful for right there!!

However I am not thankful that I can't wear 80% of clothes in my wardrobe, nor am I thankful that I feel fat and frumpy in the ones I can wear... I wanna feel good and look good again.

I am also worried that I have symptoms of depression that I need to get rid of... I don't mean just feeling a bit down I mean everything... I am low, I am fatigued, I have no concentration or focus,
With all the good in my life I find it difficult to believe I can feel so low...Anyway I need this to stop, there are possible life changes coming in about 5 weeks time, I need these feelings under control by then especially the concentration and attention to detail and everywhere I look it shows working out as being something you need to do to get the good feelings going again!!

Anyway, that's it I'm caffeinated so time to hit the gym...