Since coming home from Malaysia my life has been chaotic and I haven't really got myself on track, then to make things worse we bought Eddie and life became even more chaotic. I know we will be moving within the next month and feel like life is on hold until then because I know I will have a new life very soon.
The week with Eddie has been a tough one... for all the 30mins of joy and fun he gives we have another of stress and frustration. He has now decided he doesn't like using the garden to toilet and much prefers the carpets and doggie towels that we have on the floor! He's an obstinate little beggar!! But he has got used to going in his cage during the day - this makes for a mad 30 mins when he gets out though...:-) He is getting along with Skye really well, mind you she tells him when she needs to! At the moment if I was to set my alarm for toilet breaks (which I haven't been doing - but that may change tomorrow) then I would say he needs to get up at 11.30pm then 4am. I am figuring that if I do this and then start to delay the alarms by a couple of mins here and there that he will get more used to getting through the night. Don't get me wrong - he is a joy!
I am getting more and more frustrated with the health and fitness part of my life... when did I forget all of my goals and aims for my life. I am currently weighing in at 161lbs which is 25 to 30lbs over where I want to be. Now I am not saying that I am not pissed off about this - I am, but I am more pissed off that I have let the goals for my lifestyle slip.. I wanted the life of fitness, of health, of dedication, discipline, of being better than all the other people in the world who look in the bottom of a wine glass, beer glass, pasta dish or McDonalds wrapper for the answer... and yet after years of kinda pitying the types of people I have become like them... maybe not completely but comfort food and wine is an everyday occurrence for me rather than a treat on weekends. Working out is now something I do if I can be bothered not something I do religiously everyday. And guess what.. I feel like crap! I am not sleeping well or sleeping too well (and not being able to get up), my stomach churns constantly from the lack of any kind of good stuff going in, my skin is dry and dull probably due to the lack of hydration.
The winds of change are blowing around me again... watching a few clips of Ali Vincents Live big show and watching the London Marathon have kinda started my mind moving again. I feel like I am powering up after a deep sleep to the knowledge that I still want those things. I have the tools, I know how to get there, I just need to start taking the right steps now..
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